F*ck Self Doubt! And Do Beautiful Wonderful YOU!
So – last week I launched Krystal TV – a show designed to help you get past your mental blocks so you can live your best possible life! And on your death bed, feel like, “YES I rocked this sh*t! I’d love to live it just like THAT all over again!
But man – I was terrified for the launch. No joke – It was probably the single scariest, most self-conscious moment of my life. I’m not exaggerating, during the actual screening, with everyone’s eyes peeled on the first episode, I honestly thought I was going to have an aneurysm. But by the grace of the universe, and quite a bit of ass-busting work beforehand, it all paid off!
Then came the inevitable question – “What qualifies Krystal to give people life advice?”
I used to feel afraid or defensive about a question like this. “Who are you to tell me what to do?” But this time, it came from a very loving source, a long time friend who supported the book and the show – he just genuinely wanted to know – he was curious. And – without the defensive blinders up – I actually thought it was a really really great question, and a perfect topic for this weeks blog post – as I’m sure other people might be wondering the same thing.
So – Who the hell am I to give you advice? Ya?! Ya!! Who am I….
I’m not a psychologist. I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not a medical doctor or a philosophy professor. I’m not a spiritual leader. I’m not a guru. (Really selling my self here huh).
Nope. I’m none of those glasses wearing, leather chair sitting, grey-haired, note scribbling things.
I’m just a normal person. Solving my normal people problems. Putting my Type A to good use by doing a crap load of research, over analyzing it to narrow it down, and testing those theories out on myself. And THEN, sharing what works for me, with others, in the event that it may work for them as well.
Sure, that doesn’t sound like a very big sell – which is honestly what I thought when I wrote the book. But at the point of publishing the book, I decided not to think too much about it and just do what I felt, intuitively, was the right thing for me to do. And I did (with that fear of who-am-I-to-give-people-life-advice ever present in the back of my head).
And guess what? (Squat! Belly full of ten boiled rat! – Joke – Inside joke for the Jamaicans). After I published the book, I got hundreds of messages and emails from people who told me the most wonderful stories about the incredible magical changes that were happening in their lives since reading it! GOD KNOW! (Some more Jamaican). Every single time this happens – it’s the biggest most surreal and fulfilling moment of my life.)
But here’s the funny thing. These same people, many previously suicidal, but most feeling anxious, depressed and totally hopeless, told me stories of past shrinks, past psychologists and councilors and other self-help books by famous authors that DID NOT work for them.
So why the hell did my little old book work for little old them?
Because they felt that I really deeply understood their struggle because I went through it exactly as they had. They felt empowered, knowing that they were not alone with these issues no one seems to be talking about, but so many of us are facing. And most importantly – They felt hope, knowing that me – a regular person just like them, with the same problems they’re currently having that seem like a dead end road – had actually overcome those problems and come out the other side on top of them. Hey if I can do it, so can they! They felt relief that little old OCD me, had put actual action steps in the book for little old OCD them! Because FML, who wants to feel inspired and fired up but then have absolutely no clue about what to do next! Talk about inspirational blue balls!
But yes. Every time I heard a story, from a reader who took back their power and changed their own lives and created their own magic- and is continuing to do so – the more I got a little courage muscle growing that you know what – fuck that ‘who-am-i’ doubt – imma share my sh*t anyways. That’s totally cool if it doesn’t work for some people, and if a more traditional route does, more power to them, but yo there’s a whole bunch of people just like me who this stuff is working for – and that’s’ who this stuff is for.
And that realization reminded me that on this journey of ours, finally – when we do connect to this thing we really want to do, fear comes in and disguises itself a self-doubt. A HARD ass pill of HARD ass self-doubt. And yow, I tell you, that fear is a smart ass mother f*cker. It comes up with some brilliant logic to trick you, so you feel to just go crawl back under your rock and live under a mushroom (a red and white one like in the cartoons).
So I’ll talk more about conquering fears in other episodes and other blog posts. But today I wanted to give you some action steps for conquering self-doubt.
- Do it for the right reasons. Make sure what you’re doing, you’re doing for the right reason. Make sure it’s something you feel intuitively in your GUT that this is what you’re supposed to do. If it is, the universe will support you, because it’s your destiny. (If you’re uncertain of how to tell, check out Chapter 6 in my book, The Stater Step).
- Set a date or a deadline to do this. If you don’t give yourself a timeline, trust me, that self-doubt will convince you to postpone it indefinitely.
- Anticipate the self-doubt. Just know that everyone who ever does anything for the first time, and even for the second, third, and fourth time, has this self-doubt. It’s part of the package. Find a greater reason why you should do it, than why you shouldn’t and focus on that instead. If it helps, focus on why you ARE capable of doing this instead of why you’re not.
- Do the work. Nothing beats self-doubt more than being very prepared. Get feedback on your work from close friends who understand what you’re doing. This way you can improve on anything beforehand to get yourself ready for the big day.
- Distract yourself. If you have some free time, your mind will play tricks on you especially coming close to the date. Do things that distract you and make you feel good; work out, listen to music, get immersed in a good book, do a guided meditation – or practice and prep some more! Anything to get out of your head, when your head is getting to you lol!
- Know that no matter what happens, it won’t be the end of the world. If you felt this is something you must do, it’s a part of your journey. If you’ve prepared, leave the rest to God or the Universe to show you what’s next. And whatever happens, there will be a valuable life lesson in it that you needed to know for something important in your future – and that will be priceless.
If you liked this post and would like to read more on becoming the best version of you, check out my book, “What The Hell Am I Supposed To Do With My Life?!” – With 5 stars on Amazon!
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Have a wonderful day! Leading into a wonderful life!
Lots of love!